小学六年级语文写人作文写作指导:写人记叙文小窍门

时间:2018-08-07 04:09:24

  小学六年级语文写人作文写作指导:写人记叙文小窍门
  操作方法:设计一个比较完整的“小故事”,故事中应出现一到两个比较鲜活的人物形象,然后集中笔墨推出一到两个有内在联系的生活画面。
  窍门1:对于故事中的人物,一定要注重细节刻画,特别是细微的动作刻画。
  示例: 《米粒?谷粒?血汗》
  无助的他用筷子无助地在碗里捣腾着,突然那雪白的米饭进出了一点黄色,那是一粒谷,和父亲那古铜的脸有着一样的颜色。他的心颤抖起来,小时候给父亲送饭的一幕又浮现在眼前。
  那是一个炎夏的夏的正午,父亲坐在田垄上吃着他送的饭,也是吃到浅底的时候,几粒黄色的谷露了出来。“扔掉吧,阿爸。”“胡扯!”父亲像豹子一样吼了一声,他一辈子也没见父亲如此愤怒过,接下来的情形更让他终生难忘:父亲将筷子插在田垅上,用那满是泥巴的手将谷粒一粒一粒地拈起来放进嘴里,锁着眉头,然后是艰难的一咽……“孩子,那是咱农家的血汗呀!”父亲对满腹委屈的他说。
  窍门2:灵活运用人物细节描写和环境细节描写的各种方法。
  示例一:
  (1)他拿着书本走进教室。(叙述)
  (2)一位慈眉善目的银发老者左手拿着书,右手拄着拐杖,步履蹒跚地走进教室。(神态描写 肖像描写 动作描写)
  分析:(1)句使用的是叙述的方法,起到概括的作用,但感情色彩不强。(2)句分别使用上了神态描写、肖像描写和动作描写,显得具体,感情色彩非常鲜明。
  示例二:
  (1)试卷发下来了,班里的同学情态各异。(叙述)
  (2)试卷发下来了,整个班级顿时像个炸开的锅。有的人洋洋自得,翘起二郎腿,腿不停地上下摆动,有一种飘飘然的感觉;有的人把头埋在桌子上,不用问就知:一定没考好;有的则拿着得分不高不低的卷子叽叽喳喳地议论着;有的则拿起笔开始订正自己的试卷;我的同桌--他一手拍着试卷,一手拍着大腿,不住地嚷嚷着:“天啊!我不想活了!怎么连这么简单的题都做错了,我干脆拿块豆腐撞死好了……”(点面结合 动作描写 语言描写)
  分析:(1)句的简单叙述通过一个“情态各异”把班里同学的神情进行了概括,但缺乏生动的色彩,不能吸引读者的眼光。而(2)句既有对全班状态的描述“炸开的锅”,也有对具体同学的描写,点面结合,通过动作,通过语言具体描写出来了,读起来生动又有趣。
  示例三:
  (1)他拿着书来到阅览室,很努力地挤到座位上。(叙述)
  (2)刚走到阅览室的门口,一股热气就迎面扑来。踏进阅览室一瞧,嗬,人真多啊!他们坐的坐,站的站,仿佛老僧入定般沉浸在书本的世界里;还有挤来挤去找位子的,觅书报的……然而周围却静得出奇,只有日光灯发出'兹--'的声响和轻微翻书的声音。他不禁屏息静气,抱紧书本,踮起脚跟,小心翼翼地插进去,东扭西挪地避开人群,好不容易才发现了一个空位。他就立刻闪过去坐下。(动静结合 渲染 白描 动作描写使用了细节刻画)
  分析:(2)句的描写明显比(1)句好多了,不仅有趣,还讲究了动静结合,巧妙运用了渲染和白描,动作描写注重了细微处的细节刻画。
  小结:
  人物描写应该注重细节描写,包括神态描写、动作描写、心理描写、语言描写和外貌描写。
  环境细节描写可以使用白描、渲染、点面结合和动静结合。

英文版:

Writing guide for Chinese writers in grade six of primary school

Operation method: design a relatively complete "little story", in which there should be one or two vivid characters, and then focus on one or two pictures of life with internal connection.

Tip 1: for the characters in the story, we must pay attention to the detailed description, especially the subtle action description.

Example: rice grain? Grain? Blood and sweat

Helplessly, he was pounding helplessly in the bowl with chopsticks. Suddenly, a little yellow came in and out of the snow-white rice. It was a grain of grain, and his father's Bronze face had the same color. His heart trembled, and the scene of delivering food to his father as a child reappeared.

It was a hot summer noon. My father sat on the ridge and ate the rice he had sent. When he got to the bottom of the meal, several yellow grains were exposed. "Throw it away, Dad." "Nonsense!" His father roared like a leopard. He never saw his father so angry in his whole life. What happened next made him unforgettable: his father put his chopsticks on the farmland, picked up the grains one by one with his muddy hands and put them into his mouth, locked his brows, and then swallowed with difficulty "My child, it's the sweat and blood of our farmers!" The father said to the aggrieved man.

Tip 2: flexible use of various methods of description of character details and environmental details.

Example 1:

(1) he came into the classroom with a book. (narration)

(2) a kind-hearted old man with silver hair hobbled into the classroom with a book in his left hand and a crutch in his right hand. (expression description, portrait description, action description)

Analysis: (1) the sentence uses the narrative method, which plays the role of generalization, but the emotional color is not strong. (2) The expression, portrait and action are used respectively in the sentence, which makes it concrete and vivid in emotion.

Example 2:

(1) when the examination papers are handed out, the students in the class have different attitudes. (narration)

(2) the examination papers are handed out, and the whole class is like a frying pan. Some people are complacent, cocking their legs, legs constantly swing up and down, there is a sense of floating; some people buried their heads on the table, do not need to ask: must have failed in the exam; some are holding the score is not high or low paper chattering; some take pen to start to revise their own test paper; my deskmate - he patted the test paper with one hand, the other hand patted his thigh, No "Oh, my God," he cried! I don't want to live! How can I even do such a simple question wrong? I'll just take a piece of tofu to kill me... " (point and surface description combined with action description)

Analysis: (1) the simple narration of the sentence summarizes the look of the students in the class through a "different modality", but it lacks vivid color and cannot attract the readers' attention. The second sentence describes not only the state of the whole class "fried pot", but also the description of specific students. It is vivid and interesting to read through the combination of point and surface, through action and language.

Example 3:

(1) he came to the reading room with a book and tried hard to squeeze into his seat. (narration)

(2) as soon as I got to the door of the reading room, a stream of heat came on my face. Step into the reading room and have a look. Wow, there are so many people! They sit, stand, like old monks immersed in the world of books; there are also crowded to find seats, looking for books and newspapers However, the surroundings were strangely quiet. Only the fluorescent lamps made the sound of "Z --" and the sound of turning a Book slightly. He could not help holding his breath, holding the book tightly, standing on tiptoe, carefully inserting it, twisting around to avoid the crowd, and finally found an empty seat. And he immediately stepped over and sat down. (dynamic and static combined with rendering line drawing, and detailed description is used for action description)

Analysis: (2) the description of sentence is much better than that of (1), which is not only interesting, but also pays attention to the combination of dynamic and static, skillfully uses rendering and line drawing, and pays attention to the detailed description of details in the action description.

Summary:

The description of characters should pay attention to the description of details, including expression description, action description, psychological description, language description and appearance description.

The detailed description of environment can use line drawing, rendering, point and surface combination and dynamic and static combination.